taking some time to reflect on my first 4 months of teaching, now that i'm two days away from school starting back after xmas break, thinking about my experiences thus far.
i definitely love teaching and for the most part, i love my students, but part of it seems, as ruth would say, a little too "downstream" for me. the analogy there is something to the affect of if you were downstream of a powerful river and you noticed that people were systematically needing to be rescued from drowning because of a weak spot in a bridge upstream, would you stay there and fish each one of them out, or would you move upstream and fix the bridge?
after a dream i had the other night in which i went to law school, i checked my status with the Law School Admissions Council (the LSAC) and was delighted to see that my membership (and LSAT scores) does not expire until October 2009. this got me thinking on a whole train of thought that led me to the idea that i could apply for fall of 2010, just before my scores, etc, expire, and try to get into law school. many years after the first go around, i have come back to the idea that i might be able to help serve, and save, more people if i work more upstream. i think that my work in politics, activism, and now education, have pointed me in the direction of the public service area of law. i will complete my master's degree by the spring of 2010 and would be ready to enter law school after that.
also, i miss seattle very much. i am so looking forward to my visit in february!
i am realizing that while brooklyn (and NYC) are great, with lots to offer, i need more in my life to feel balanced and happy. i need to be around more scenery. i need to be closer to the great outdoors (the very indoor-oriented texan in me can't believe this, trust me), more dependent on a bike and less on a train, able to play rugby, buy groceries at a big store, be around people that appreciate the greatness of family pizza night.
i was looking into the UW law school and i think that my admission packet could get me in-- lsat is in the accepted range, gpa is good, plus will have a master's degree and some service experience behind me. UW also has a fellowship in public service law that, if you're accepted, will pay for all your school and a few internships in exchange for 5 years public service work post school. i think that sounds great and i know a friend-of-a-friend who is on the board that accepts people into the fellowship. :)
right now, i just wish i were writing this entry from the Fuel on 45th st.
miss you all!
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Sunday, November 9, 2008
notes on the election
here is an excerpt from a letter that i sent to K the day after the election. i posted this email to her from my phone while enjoying happy hour at a bar, waiting for a date. it was perhaps the happiest hour i have had in a very long while:
I am slightly tipsy and writing this on my iPhone so apologies if it does not come out right.
I can't even really describe how I feel right now. I think it is just starting to sink in.
I did not really do much by way of celebrating last night I think mostly because I am way gun shy after the last time around, if that makes any sense. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop...
School today was crazy. All of the students were exhausted from staying up, but also high from happiness. In my first class of the day I had a girl stand on the lab table and jump up and down dancing, screaming Obama! Obama! at the top of her lungs. While it was disruptive of the lesson plan, I decided to let them process. This is a huge deal for us all, especially a bunch of black kids from bklyn. Far be it for me to deny them their joy. I told them I would count to three and they could holler as loud as possible for 30 seconds.
Later in the class the dean came by and said he heard there was a commotion in the room. I pretended I knew nothing :)
I wish you would have been here to document the whole thing. You would have done a better job for sure.
I am slightly tipsy and writing this on my iPhone so apologies if it does not come out right.
I can't even really describe how I feel right now. I think it is just starting to sink in.
I did not really do much by way of celebrating last night I think mostly because I am way gun shy after the last time around, if that makes any sense. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop...
School today was crazy. All of the students were exhausted from staying up, but also high from happiness. In my first class of the day I had a girl stand on the lab table and jump up and down dancing, screaming Obama! Obama! at the top of her lungs. While it was disruptive of the lesson plan, I decided to let them process. This is a huge deal for us all, especially a bunch of black kids from bklyn. Far be it for me to deny them their joy. I told them I would count to three and they could holler as loud as possible for 30 seconds.
Later in the class the dean came by and said he heard there was a commotion in the room. I pretended I knew nothing :)
I wish you would have been here to document the whole thing. You would have done a better job for sure.
Monday, October 20, 2008
letters of apology
i got letters of apology from three out of four of my 11th grade boys that were involved in Thursday's altercation. they were very sweet and very thoughtful-- most of them said things to the affect of "i know that i need to grow up and take some responsibility for my actions" and "now is the time for me to get serious and take care of business". all of the boys said that they respect me as a teacher and that they appreciate my understanding and the fact that i care.
it makes me feel good that they recognize that even if they were "defending our class", that their actions contributed to the chaos.
maybe in some strange way all of this mess will bring us closer together as a class.
it makes me feel good that they recognize that even if they were "defending our class", that their actions contributed to the chaos.
maybe in some strange way all of this mess will bring us closer together as a class.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
the mason dixon line
within the first five minutes of 3rd period, i knew it was going to be hard. two of my 10th graders came into my science room, plugged up the back sinks, and then turned the water on full blast and ran out of the room. when i noticed the floating garbage in the sink and the pounding water i realized what had happened.
then within the first 10 minutes the same two 10th graders came back into class (they should have been at lunch) and burst into the room, yelling and swearing at a handful of my 11th grade boys. i managed to kick them out and lock the door from the outside so they wouldn't bust in again.
ten minutes later, i was just starting to lecture when the door opened. someone from my class opened it from the inside (it was locked) and not two, but seven of my 10th graders rush into the room and begin fighting with my 11th grade boys. all in all it was 12-15 boys rioting in my room. desks pushed, chairs flipped, on the counters, on the floor, punching, shoving, shouting.
it took four teachers and two deans to get them to calm down. the offending 10th graders immediately tried to run off, as if no one would notice, while i lost it in the hall.
my adrenaline was on high speed and it was hard for me to not try to get more in the fight to bust it up. like a protective mother i wanted to keep people form hurting my kids, except they were all my students. i might have been hit in the melee, i'm not sure. my whole body is sore and i am exhausted.
in fact, i'm going to take another nap. i'm dead.
then within the first 10 minutes the same two 10th graders came back into class (they should have been at lunch) and burst into the room, yelling and swearing at a handful of my 11th grade boys. i managed to kick them out and lock the door from the outside so they wouldn't bust in again.
ten minutes later, i was just starting to lecture when the door opened. someone from my class opened it from the inside (it was locked) and not two, but seven of my 10th graders rush into the room and begin fighting with my 11th grade boys. all in all it was 12-15 boys rioting in my room. desks pushed, chairs flipped, on the counters, on the floor, punching, shoving, shouting.
it took four teachers and two deans to get them to calm down. the offending 10th graders immediately tried to run off, as if no one would notice, while i lost it in the hall.
my adrenaline was on high speed and it was hard for me to not try to get more in the fight to bust it up. like a protective mother i wanted to keep people form hurting my kids, except they were all my students. i might have been hit in the melee, i'm not sure. my whole body is sore and i am exhausted.
in fact, i'm going to take another nap. i'm dead.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
that old familiar feeling...
the itching feeling inside my ears, the hot flashes, the tickly throat--
i am getting sick.
after a particularly hard thursday and friday, its no wonder that now my body chooses to get ill-- my defenses are completely worn down at this point. since the beginning of school i have done a great job of holding everything together, but the end of this week was totally exhausting.
thursday marked what was probably my worst day at school-- a fire drill during my 2nd period class set my lesson plans off-kilter, then my 10th graders (read: evil children) locked me in my classroom. actually, it is someone else's classroom, but they stole the door handle off the inside of the door as they came in to class. this left the handful of tardy students locked out from the outside, and left me and the rest of the class locked inside. after trying to get them to give up the handle, i told them that it was the stupidest thing they could do to lock themselves in the room with me, because not only was no one going out the window (we're on the 7th floor), but they were now stuck in a room with a very pissed off teacher.
after about five minutes, the handle came skittering across the floor and i let the rest of my class in. we got nothing done that period.
then, the period directly following, i returned to my own classroom to teach what is my largest 11th grade class. there were a few students from the previous class lingering in the room and about 10 of my students settling in when my door jams. i have been after maintenence to fix it for two weeks now, as its been getting progressively harder to open, lock, etc, but this time it just stuck. no one could open it from either side and chaos ensued. the kids in class didn't want me to let the loud kids in the hall in ("Miss, this will be the quietest this class has ever been!") and the kids in the hall were shouting as if they'd been intentionally locked out ("We have to bust the door in! Tamika, let's use your head!"). I tried calling the office from my cell (no answer) and it took 20 minutes for maintenence to show up to start dismantling the door handle completely. in the melee, half of the kids locked out just decided to leave. once we finally got the door open, again, we got nothing done.
fabulous.
i think i might be the only teacher in history to get locked in their own classroom twice in one day.
friday was rough too, more so for personal reasons than school reasons, though i had the evil 10th graders again. they made me crazy-- in the middle of class they decided to stage an impromtu dance party, knocking over desks and chairs and making a dance circle. i just watched.
these kids are hard to deal with-- they're the bad group of the 10th grade and they have no respect for anyone. i have to constantly watch them or they'll steal things (and i always teach them in other people's classrooms), they write on anything they can get their hands on, and they're constantly yelling at each other.
they're also very homophobic, which is great. if i had a dollar for every time they called someone or something else gay, i could retire.
yikes.
i am in the process of figuring out how i am going to deal with them next week.
its saturday, i'm exhausted, and getting sick. thank god for rosh hashanah this week.
i am getting sick.
after a particularly hard thursday and friday, its no wonder that now my body chooses to get ill-- my defenses are completely worn down at this point. since the beginning of school i have done a great job of holding everything together, but the end of this week was totally exhausting.
thursday marked what was probably my worst day at school-- a fire drill during my 2nd period class set my lesson plans off-kilter, then my 10th graders (read: evil children) locked me in my classroom. actually, it is someone else's classroom, but they stole the door handle off the inside of the door as they came in to class. this left the handful of tardy students locked out from the outside, and left me and the rest of the class locked inside. after trying to get them to give up the handle, i told them that it was the stupidest thing they could do to lock themselves in the room with me, because not only was no one going out the window (we're on the 7th floor), but they were now stuck in a room with a very pissed off teacher.
after about five minutes, the handle came skittering across the floor and i let the rest of my class in. we got nothing done that period.
then, the period directly following, i returned to my own classroom to teach what is my largest 11th grade class. there were a few students from the previous class lingering in the room and about 10 of my students settling in when my door jams. i have been after maintenence to fix it for two weeks now, as its been getting progressively harder to open, lock, etc, but this time it just stuck. no one could open it from either side and chaos ensued. the kids in class didn't want me to let the loud kids in the hall in ("Miss, this will be the quietest this class has ever been!") and the kids in the hall were shouting as if they'd been intentionally locked out ("We have to bust the door in! Tamika, let's use your head!"). I tried calling the office from my cell (no answer) and it took 20 minutes for maintenence to show up to start dismantling the door handle completely. in the melee, half of the kids locked out just decided to leave. once we finally got the door open, again, we got nothing done.
fabulous.
i think i might be the only teacher in history to get locked in their own classroom twice in one day.
friday was rough too, more so for personal reasons than school reasons, though i had the evil 10th graders again. they made me crazy-- in the middle of class they decided to stage an impromtu dance party, knocking over desks and chairs and making a dance circle. i just watched.
these kids are hard to deal with-- they're the bad group of the 10th grade and they have no respect for anyone. i have to constantly watch them or they'll steal things (and i always teach them in other people's classrooms), they write on anything they can get their hands on, and they're constantly yelling at each other.
they're also very homophobic, which is great. if i had a dollar for every time they called someone or something else gay, i could retire.
yikes.
i am in the process of figuring out how i am going to deal with them next week.
its saturday, i'm exhausted, and getting sick. thank god for rosh hashanah this week.
You can stand under my umbrella.
Like the umbrellas that litter the tracks of the d train line,
I am tired from a long day's work, fighting forces of nature bigger than me,
and I lay here, a little broken.
Not broken beyond repair, but I have outlived my five dollar life span,
have done my best to shield against the driving rain and gusty winds
and at the time when I need just a little fixing,
I am tossed away with yesterdays free newspaper and an old gum wrapper.
So loved in times of panic, so lost in times of sun,
this is the life of a five dollar umbrella.
I am tired from a long day's work, fighting forces of nature bigger than me,
and I lay here, a little broken.
Not broken beyond repair, but I have outlived my five dollar life span,
have done my best to shield against the driving rain and gusty winds
and at the time when I need just a little fixing,
I am tossed away with yesterdays free newspaper and an old gum wrapper.
So loved in times of panic, so lost in times of sun,
this is the life of a five dollar umbrella.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
things that i have learned
1. urban kids are way obsessed with piercings and tattoos. they will ask you about them over and over, usually while you're talking about something else.
2. they will do anything to get what they want. i got more compliments on my hair and my tie on the day of my first test than i have the entire time here
3. they do not understand why you drink so much water
4. just because someone takes notes and does the work does not mean they understand
5. sometimes the kid who does nothing in class will ace your test
6. sometimes it is better to ignore their misbehavior than to address it. the less time you spend yelling, the better
7. they care so much about what other people think of them, that if you make it uncool to talk, they'll finally shut the hell up.
8. candy works wonders
9. they are gayer than you think
10. they will act like they hate you in class, but they love you in the hallway.
11. they desperately want your approval, even when they tell you they don't care
12. sometimes, it is just better to let them sleep
2. they will do anything to get what they want. i got more compliments on my hair and my tie on the day of my first test than i have the entire time here
3. they do not understand why you drink so much water
4. just because someone takes notes and does the work does not mean they understand
5. sometimes the kid who does nothing in class will ace your test
6. sometimes it is better to ignore their misbehavior than to address it. the less time you spend yelling, the better
7. they care so much about what other people think of them, that if you make it uncool to talk, they'll finally shut the hell up.
8. candy works wonders
9. they are gayer than you think
10. they will act like they hate you in class, but they love you in the hallway.
11. they desperately want your approval, even when they tell you they don't care
12. sometimes, it is just better to let them sleep
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